The Colonialist

Happy Mother’s Day, Moms!

Love,

The Colonialist.

Good morning everyone!

My computer spent the night making this (let it load all the way before you play it or else it’ll be jumpy):

Enjoy!

Also, how are everyone’s finals?

I’m convinced I no longer have eyelids: they haven’t served their function in so long.

Travis Edit: We will be adding a few more receSs videos to this post later today.  This particular video is from a show in March.

Travis Edit 2: Here are two more videos.

Last Long-Form of the Year:

Nick’s Senior Moment:

Today the internet brings you two things:

1) ThingsIDidLastNight.com

2)

Hey, how are finals going?

Here’s another timewaster.  It’s called Castaway, and it’s a wonderful online choose-your-own-adventure just like the good ole’ days.  After playing it a few times, you may think it’s one of those “ha-ha-I-made-this-silly-website-that-makes-you-think-there’s-a-way-to-solve-this-puzzle-but-really-there’s-no-way-to-not-lose” games, but really, I assure you, you can win, and it’s not that difficult.

SOoooo check it out HERE.

If you liked that and want more, the same people have a few other things here.

ALSO, check out this really awesome completely unrelated video about a guy who traded a paper clip for a house HERE:

Check back tomorrow for Daily Finals Timewaster #12! If you’ve got a good one for us, send it in to TheColonialist@gmail.com and we’ll check it out!

(above) TJ Miller, DC Pierson, Molly Ryman in “On Parole”

You heard it right. The world premiere of the comedic short film “On Parole” will be THIS FRIDAY in the Betts Theatre, at 10pm. The film was written by Colonialist writers Kevin Mead and Darren Miller, along with Paul Briganti. Kevin and Paul also directed it.

It stars TJ Miller, who you might know as HUD from the movie Cloverfield along with Marmaduke on ABC’s Carpoolers. Here’s a clip of him on Letterman:

All proceeds from the event go to beast films, as they attempt to finish this film and get this motherfucker into some festivals. All support is really appreciated.

RSVP on Facebook!

Here are the details:

On Parole Rough Cut Screening

Friday, May 9

10pm in Betts Theatre, Marvin Center

$8 Suggested Donation *Kevin’s Edit! Ok!* This amount is suggested, as you might know if you read from left to right. That means pay what you’d can/like. If that means $8 - awesome. If that means $5 or $1 or $0.1 or nothing- awesome.  The most important thing - really, the only important thing - to those of us who have worked on the film, is that y’all come see it. It’s not that long, some parts are pretty funny, there’s some makin’ out…something for everyone. But I really can’t say how excited I am for people at GW to see it. You guys are great. So yea, come give it a look if you can. If not, comment here after 12 to wish Travis a Happy Birthday!  *Darren’s Edit! Alright!* I came to make an edit to say pretty much the same exact thing and Kevin beat me to it!  So I’ll paraphrase!  Pay nothing or less than, or equal to, or more than $8!  The most important parts of “come see our work in progress” are “see” and “work” because we worked (and are still working) so incredibly hard on this and we would love nothing more than for you to see it right now.  Travis is 21 at midnight.

Directed by Kevin Mead, Paul Briganti

Written by Kevin Mead, Darren Miller and Paul Briganti

Starring TJ Miller (Cloverfield, Carpoolers), and Molly Ryman

Guest Starring DC Pierson (Bro Rape), Bobby Moynihan (Human Giant, Late Show with Conan O’Brien), and Emily Axford (receSs)

For more information, check out BeastFilms.Net

(above) Colonialist writer Kevin Mead directing Celebrity Mega-Star TJ Miller!

(above) Paul Briganti, Kevin Mead, TJ Miller, and Darren Miller are BEST FRIENDS!

We received this DFT email this morning!

Flash game: Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe 3 (SCGMD3). Link:
http://www.kongregate.com/games/Shinki/super-crazy-guitar-maniac-delu…

It’s basically flash-based Guitar Hero for the PC, except it’s free, you can hold your keyboard like a guitar to play it (if you’ve got a desktop or a wireless one) and *it’s actually more addicting*. Plus, the site I used to link to it, Kongregate, has hundreds of free flash games, along with “achievements” for you to unlock as you play them. Achievements give you
points, points give you rank, etc. It’s a vicious cycle.

…Also, they come out with new achievements (badges) weekly–usually Wed. or Fri.

This is my payback for you guys restarting the DFTs on the night I have to write a 20-page paper.

Enjoy!

Thanks, Matt!

Check back tomorrow for Daily Finals Timewaster #11! If you’ve got a good one for us, send it in to TheColonialist@gmail.com and we’ll check it out!

Soooo, the last Timewaster requires a bit of a commitment, and there were no comments.  So I’ll make this one a little easier.  This is just a really cool animation I found online.  It will only waste 2 minutes of your time.  Or longer, if you want.  You see, the original animation is available here, but you can also check out the youtube version below, and after that, go to the video on youtube to see a bunch more related videos that are pretty cool too.  Here’s the youtube version of the original (note: the original flash animation is much clearer; wordpress, our blog software, doesn’t allow us to embed flash right on the blog.  So either watch the youtube version here, or make that incredible extra effort to make one click):

Check back tomorrow for Daily Finals Timewaster #10! If you’ve got a good one for us, send it in to TheColonialist@gmail.com and we’ll check it out!

Don’t Sell To The Coffee Guy In Kogan!

Reminder from my experience last semester:

I decided to sell to the cart outside of Kogan on H St. I buy coffee from the guy twice a week and he always seemed to be a fair man. I gave him five books to scan, and he did so with out speaking a word. After a few moments he said, “five dollars.”

Now, I’ve been screwed on books before, but one dollar a book seemed a little irrational. I told him that I was going to take the books over to the bookstore, but I’m confident he had lower prices, so I’d be back. The following is a transcript of our actual conversation:

Coffee Guy: If you come back, I’ll only give you fifty cents for each of these books. $2.50 then, instead of $5.
Travis: What? Why would you do that?
Coffee Guy: Because I control the prices.

Use the comments on this post to buy, sell or trade text books.  Advertise however you want to, as long as you’re doing so independently and not for one of those shady ventures.  While I doubt anyone knows their books for next semester yet, I still think this could be a good idea.

Hi!

You must have been wondering why you’ve been so productive lately.  I can fix that.  It’s finals time!  Yay!

Let’s waste time.

If you’re just joining us, I started a serial post last semester which include Daily Finals Timewasters 1-7.  These all still waste time, and thus deserve a second look.  You can check them all out at http://thecolonialist.com/tag/timewaster/

HOWEVER, it is now time for #8, and the first one of 2008.  We’re starting simple.  This one’s called Line Rider, and it’s pretty fun.  What’s cool about this is it’s a flash game mixed with a drawing pad mixed with an animator…sort of.  Basically you draw lines that become the path a little dude takes in his sled.  It’s pretty awesome.  What’s also really cool is that you can watch a bunch of youtube videos of ones that people have made in the past.  They are here.

This one is called Jagged Peak Adventure!

NOW, for those of you who REALLY want to waste time, I’ll go ahead and tell you now that I haven’t given you the full story.  The NEWEST version of Line Rider is now available at the brand new LineRider.com.  This website not only has the new version of the game, but also includes tons of user submitted videos, news, contests, forums, and extra info.  The game has gotten really popular and will soon be released in retail stores.  So check it out.  For a really long time.

See ya!

Check back tomorrow for Daily Finals Timewaster #9! If you’ve got a good one for us, send it in to TheColonialist@gmail.com and we’ll check it out!

Just received a late night email claiming the following:

Word on the street is that they have officially stopped letting people into Gelman.  The writer, as he composes this, is currently hunkering down in an anonymous office in the Marvin Center, hoping the disembodied voice of authority won’t come in and sweepingly kick him out.  What has this University come to— I can’t study in the library!

Can anyone confirm this?  Have they turned people away at Gelman?