Skeletons in my Closet
About a year and a half ago, I worked for the Hatchet. I know, I know. I should have been honest with you sooner. I’m sorry. But I had been offered a humor columnist position there and decided to go for it.
They wanted a piece for their senior issue and I [...]
BJ Novak isn’t just from The Office
BJ Novak is really funny. He’s not just the awkward guy from The Office. Please stop calling him that.
BJ Novak one of the best writers for The Office (including the amazing ‘local ad’ episode). He is a senior producer for The Office. He wrote for the Harvard Lampoon. He punk’d [...]
Hatchet Endorses Lamest Election Ever
In a move of mediocrity that stunned risk-takers around the world, The Hatchet has endorsed Hilary Clinton and John McCain for President. The Huffington Post is reporting a large bump in the polls for both candidates.
In ol’ Travis’ opinion, that is the most boring election combination he can think of. Clinton vs. McCain [...]
Cloverfield Didn’t Suck
Cloverfield — an American monster movie done in the style of a YouTube video blog — doesn’t suck. I can’t really wrap my head around that. It’s not a cinematic masterpiece: it doesn’t want to be. It is, however, incredibly fun and surprisingly humorous.
I saw the midnight showing last night, and the [...]
The Proposed "Proposal"
DISCLAIMER: This is written by Travis Helwig and not the entire Colonialist staff. It ended up sounding way more harsh than I had intended, and caused some controversy. Please read the comments after reading this article so that this discussion can continue.
I received an email in my inbox today. I think many [...]
Darren’s Favorite Moments of 2007: TV, Film, and Otherwise
Hey guys. In the first of what may or may not be many posts reviewing the year of 2007, I would like to list my favorite moments in television, film, and otherwise. This is in no order whatsoever. Also, as the year draws to a close, I will continuously update this post.
[NOTE: [...]
Cash for Books Horror Stories
I’m a poor sociology major, that means I hate the bookstore for running such a beautifully executed business plan. The plan is to sell books to students at a ridiculously high price because they have to buy them. Then they use the word “cash” a lot, so you give them the book back [...]
Hair: A Review.
This past weekend, Forbidden Planet Productions presented their rendition of Hair. I had never seen this play before this past Sunday evening. I hadn’t even heard of it, or at least cognized its existence until earlier this semester when audition flyers began appearing campus. To summarize before I begin, I entered the theater slightly skeptical [...]
Hair: An opinionated follow-up for those interested in continued reading.
(Allow me to take this time to remind readers that the Colonialist attempts to be in no capacity unbiased. Nor do they (I) attempt to restrict themselves (myself) to conventions of length. Know this; read on).
This play was fascinating to me; like many works depicting the conflicted and turbulent period of the late 60’s / [...]
Don’t Worry About That Final!
It’s not a big deal if you fail. Here’s all that happens if you fail that final:
If you fail the final, you fail the course.
If you fail the course, you set yourself back for graduation.
If you set yourself back for graduation, your parents won’t pay for school anymore.
If your parents won’t pay anymore, you [...]
